Love and Relationship

5 Tips on Getting to Know Your Partner Better

Despite the fact that you love and care for your partner, it takes time and effort to truly get to know your partner. Use the following tips to learn how to get to know your partner on a deeper level.

1. Open up. The best way to get someone to open up to you is to share a bit about yourself first. Displaying that you are willing to reveal things about yourself creates a bond your partner will want to reciprocate. So show your partner old family photo albums and share your favorite memory all the nostalgia will encourage him or her to open up about their childhood. Your partner’s willingness to share is also revealing, being nervous about sharing or unwilling to relate to your stories may indicate that he or she is not comfortable enough with you or is attempting to leave their past behind.

2. Bond with your partner’s parents. Your partner’s parents have usually had the most effect on him or her throughout their lifetime and getting to know them can lead to a better understanding of who they are. Suggest a double date for the two of you and his or her parents or have them over for dinner. Seeing your partner’s interaction with their parents and their habits can be very telling and may reveal where he or she got their aversion to nagging or why their conversational voice is the same volume as everyone else’s outside voice. A strained relationship with parents may indicate trust issues, resentment, and blaming tendencies.

3. Play twenty questions. This childhood game can be very useful for getting to know your partner. Introduce the concept while on a road trip or over coffee and set ground rules for total honesty. Make sure the tone is friendly and not antagonistic. No questions are off-limits, allowing you both to ask questions that don’t often come up in everyday conversation like the religion you were raised with or how you chose your college. Twenty questions is a fun way to ask questions you were always curious about and find out new and interesting things about each other.

4. Take an interest in your partner’s interests. Your partner’s hobbies and passions mean a lot to him or her and can shape their personality. By taking an interest in their interests, you are showing that you care and wish to know more about them. Ask your partner to share his or her hobbies with you one evening rather than leaving to pursue your own hobbies. Your partner’s interests are important to him or her and knowing more about them can reveal a lot about your partner. Do not attempt to invade his or her hobbies; often your partner’s activities serve as an escape and you do not want to crowd him or her. Instead, show that you are interested and want to learn more about the things he or she loves.

5. Go on a “first date.” The first date with your partner is mainly focused on getting to know each other better. Repeat this dating ritual together, focusing on talking about each other’s interests and hobbies, life goals and aspirations, and other basic first date-type conversations. Refrain from discussing how work was or about upcoming responsibilities you’re both stressing about and instead focus solely on each other. You may discover a whole new dimension to your partner and fall in love all over again.