Have you hurt someone you love because of wrong decisions? Are you being tormented by guilt because of terrible mistakes you have done?
What the ‘victims’ and ‘commentators’ do not know is that the torture experienced by those who committed the ‘crime’ is usually double or triple the suffering the ‘victims’ go through. Aside from the pain of losing the trust of the persons important to them and the judgments others throw at them, they also suffer from guilt and regret.
Yes, every mistake has a consequence and you need to face it. However, please know that, like everyone else, you deserve a second chance at life. There is more to you than your failures.
I hope these 30 ways of how to forgive yourself and move on from the past can help you see beyond self-condemnation.
1. Get over it.
Stop blaming yourself. What is done is done, so the blame game is pointless. It already happened, and punishing yourself would not change anything.
2. Take a break.
It is okay to get a break from the commotion. Allow yourself to find rest by going somewhere else for several days or weeks. If possible while away, do not check social media and cut off any form of communication that would let your bashers reach you.
3. Ask God for forgiveness.
No matter how big your mistake was, God is faithful and just in forgiving those who genuinely repent and ask forgiveness.
4. Be humble to ask forgiveness from the person/people you hurt.
Whether they forgive you or not, courageously face them and sincerely apologize. Accept whatever they have to say.
5. Forgive those who caused you pain.
If you want to be forgiven by God and those you have hurt, then forgive those who have hurt you as well.
6. Stop recalling your mistakes.
Meditating on your failures will only lead to depression. Stop thinking about what happened.
7. Focus your attention on productive things.
To keep your mind from dwelling on the past, concentrate on your work, studies, or any activities that are productive.
8. Find strength in the support of your family and friends.
Be strong for those who continue to stick up with you despite what happened. Let your family and friends comfort you.
9. Learn your lesson.
Charge what happened to experience. Get wisdom from it so you can be a better person.
10. Never do the same mistake again.
Learning from what happened, decide to never commit the same mistake. Find out how you can avoid it from happening again.
11. Filter the criticisms people throw at you.
You cannot control what people say about you, but you can control how words may affect you. Just take a look at how celebrities deal with their bashers. They ignore them.
12. Start anew in a new environment.
If needed, decide to move to a different city, workplace, or school. Begin a new life away from your past.
13. Reinvent yourself.
Being able to groom yourself is a sign that you are getting better. As a symbolism for the new you, you may get a new hairstyle or change your wardrobe.
14. Be the number one encourager and protector of yourself.
Do not wallow in self-pity thinking no one cares for you. Take care and stick up for yourself even when no one else does.
15. Do not base your self-worth on others’ perception of you.
What others say about you does not matter. No one knows you best except God and yourself, so that means no one else can accurately measure your true value.
16. Know that everyone fails in one way or another.
Why think you are the lowest life form on earth when all humans are equally imperfect? Do not think you are inferior because of your failure. Everyone makes a mistake.
17. Focus on the future.
Stop dwelling in the past. Look beyond the painful present. Find hope in what the future holds.
18. Use your experience to teach or encourage others.
Help others avoid the same suffering you go through now. Encourage them not to make the mistake you made.
19. Take each new day as a second chance.
The fact that you still wake up every morning is a sign that God is not through with you yet. Embrace the second chance at life.
20. Be inactive on social media.
The favorite platform of bashers is social media. You may deactivate your accounts for the meantime while waiting for the issue to cool down.
21. Be gentle with yourself.
Stop hating and punishing yourself. You have gone through so much already.
22. Accept the consequence of your mistakes level-headedly.
Do not retaliate if your ‘victims’ say harsh things against you. You cannot blame them for being mad at you. Humbly deal with their anger.
23. Do not suppress the pain.
Cry it out all you want. Find someone to talk to about how you feel.
24. Do not let your mistake define you.
Yes, you may have committed a terrible mistake, but surely there are a lot of good things you have also done. Making a mistake is part of being human—just a part.
25. Discipline your mind.
Overthinking makes it too hard to move on. Control your thoughts so you can avoid recalling what happened.
26. Find hope and comfort in God’s promises.
Read the Bible, particularly the Psalms. You will find a lot of encouraging verses that assure us of God’s promises including healing and restoration.
27. Seek counseling.
If you are going through severe depression and you think you are about to quit, then be brave to ask help from professional or spiritual counselors. They can guide you through this tough process.
28. Surround yourself with optimistic people.
Positive-minded people will influence you to be positive about life as well. They will help you see the bright side of your situation.
29. Know that God still loves you.
No amount of failure or mistake can change a parent’s love for his/her children. God is your heavenly Father.
30. Surrender your burden to God.
Let Him take it from there. God will not only turn your life 180 degrees. He can use your failure to change the lives of many who go through the same struggle.
Your Life Does Not End Here
Do not let guilt, regret, and self-disappointment make you lose faith in yourself. You may have fallen so deep, but God’s hands are not short to not be able to reach you. Let Him pick you up. Choose to correct your mistakes and make your life better. Do not give up.